I often joke and say I “don’t keep friends”. Really, I mean that I put so much effort into my profession and my family that I often don’t have time to really cultivate relationships with others in the way that, in the past, I would have considered someone to be a friend, which really begs the question, what exactly is a friend?
Recently, Julie Smith posed this question in a Tweet: can you be friends with people online? People you’ve never actually met? Before really diving into Twitter, I might have said no. I mean, how can you be friends with someone you’ve never even made eye contact with. But, since reexamining what a friend means to me, I’d argue that you can absolutely be friends with people you’ve never met. Relationships can be formed online. Meaningful ones, even.
All my friends have certain roles. My best friend, Dawn, is the one I call when I need to vent or want to do something crazy (I dragged her with me when I got my first tattoo, for example). My friend, Kristi, is someone that if I ever got into a boxing match, she’d be the one that would let me tap out. She’s a tough chick and also one of the smartest people I know. My friend, Anne, is someone that will guaranteed make me laugh until I spit out all my green tea to the point where I struggle sitting by her in meetings, and my friend Matt will help me with anything I need anytime I need it, sometimes even before I know I need it.
At first Twitter allowed me to fill the personalized PD void and connected me with others who both challenged my thinking and inspired me to be a better educator than I was. And it was great. I would see people Tweet about their “tribe” and how they “loved” other Tweeters, and I was all like, “What? You’ve never even seen that person?” Then, one glorious day, I found the #personalizedPD chat and my entire perspective changed. Instantly, I loved these people. I’m convinced that Mandy, for example, is my personality doppleganger. I think that God made one of us and said, “Whoa, that one turned out pretty well. I’m going to try that recipe again.” (Of course, she must’ve been the second one made because he made some modifications to make her funnier – #jealous). Jason & Kenny have welcomed me with open arms and take my teasing and off-topic-ness like champs. They have even invited me (and by invite I mean I had to beg a little) into their Voxer personalized PD group.
So, my perspective on what constitutes a friend has changed. Sometimes I think people use the words “friend” and “acquaintance” interchangeably, but these people have definitely made their way into fulfilling a role in both my personal and professional lives. And really, when it comes down to it, what difference does it make what we label people as long as they make us happy and support us in our journey.